at this point my blood is probably 4.3% pasta sauce
do you know how difficult it is to feel secure in your looks and personality and overall self when absolutely no one has ever shown any interest in you whatsoever like yeah you shouldn’t base all of your self-confidence on other people but still there’s like always that irritating little voice inside of you that tells you that you’ve never been worth a second glance or getting to know for anyone and you can try to ignore it all you want but it’s still there
DOES ANYONE THINK THAT OCTOBER HAS A CERTAIN SMELL AND YOU JUST CANT EXPLAIN IT BUT YOU JUST KNOW THE SCENT OF OCTOBER AND IT GETS SO STRONG ON HALLOWEEN
I PROBABLY SOUND INSANE BUT I CANT POSSIBLY BE THE ONLY ONE
My dad credits this as his favorite photo of me.
When I was younger, I was very socially anxious. I hated crowds, hated attention, hated being up on stage. In preschool there was this little Halloween show that we put on, and man, I did not want to do that shit, let me tell you. All those parents watching me sing some stupid song? Nah, that ain’t me.
But I was forced to, and I was pissed about it. My dad was in the audience, taking pictures and enjoying the show. In that moment, I swear, my tiny four year old was pure rage and resentment. I felt the word “fuck” years before I knew what it was.
My dad pointed the camera at me, and I turned, and I looked. I gave him the look that summed up all the anger, all the absolute fury that was brewing inside me. He says that he had never before seen such a perfect depiction of total and complete hatred. In his four year old son.
To this day whenever I get pissed, he calls me “Buzz Lightyear”.
I felt the word “fuck” years before I knew what it was.
SO THIS ONE TIME IT WAS NEW YEARS EVE AND MY ASSHOLE OF A DAD WAS DRUNK AND WE MADE A BET. IF I COULD HIT HIM IN THE ASS CHEEK WITH A BLOWGUN DART THAT I WOULD GET $200. SO I AIMED IT (I WAS 12 YEARS OLD) AND I MISJUDGED THE AIM AND IT HIT HIM STRAIGHT IN THE NUTS AND MY BROTHER HANDED ME $500 WHILE MY DAD WAS TAKEN TO THE HOSPITAL VIA AMBULANCE.